Why "Indy 4" Scares the Bejeezus Out of Me: Part One

After what seems like an age or two of rumors, speculation and griping from all angles, the fourth Indiana Jones film is finally set to begin filming this summer. Ten years ago this news would have set Hollywood ablaze but these days it’s approached with an unspoken caution by most, particularly those amongst the online media. As for me, this “caution” isn’t unspoken by any means. I’m terrified of the possibilities this new film presents, for dozens of reasons and none them have to do with Harrison Ford’s recent ascension to ranks deserving of an AARP discount.

Indy 4's troubles started years ago with an agreement by the three principal players in the game (these being Ford, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg) that they would not proceed with a new film unless all three of them agreed on the script. A sweet sentiment to be certain but read between the lines. Ford’s script reading skills have never been anything to write home about. In recent years he’s passed on roles in two Oscar winning films (Traffic & Syriana) because he didn’t like the scripts. Instead he’s taken parts in genius flicks like K-19 and Firewall.

Then there’s Lucas and do I really need to continue? Dialogue whiz that he is, dear ol’ George enlisted the guy that wrote The Scorpion King as his love story coach for Episode II and we all know how well that turned out:

“You love me? I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.

"I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know.”

Christ. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ve seen more passion in Hallmark cards. Did Lawrence Kasdan retire and forget to tell us?

The only one with a semi-level head about him in this twisted little game is Spielberg and I hesitate to call him that. Anybody willing to take that turd of a script for War of the Worlds in to production needs to have his head examined but that’s beside the point. Spielberg’s leanings at the story level could spoil Indy 4 level for other reasons that I’ll get into later. At least Spielberg had the idea to hire Frank Darabont.

No one could reasonably call Darabont anything less then a top notch screenwriter. He’s had few (if any) real misfires that were his fault. He’s familiar with the Indiana Jones universe thanks to his stint as a writer on the Young Indiana Jones TV show. After meeting with several writers over the years, the Ego Trio sent Darabont on his way to complete a script for Indy 4. Several months later he handed it in and both Speilberg & Ford praised it publicly saying they felt they were on the right track. Spielberg even went so far as to call it the best Indy script since Raiders.

It was Lucas who put the kibosh on the Darabont script. He was quiet as to his reasoning. Apparently the whole thing was not handled very well. In the links section below you’ll see a link to an interview with Darabont where he discusses what went down. They didn’t ask him for rewrites. They didn’t tell him what was wrong. They just said “Thanks but no thanks” and that was it. If the script was terrible that’s one thing but when you’ve got a writer like Darabont in your corner, why not use him?

The end to this saga came with David Koepp, a long time crony of Spielberg’s. He’s a talented writer, don’t get me wrong. Spiderman was outstanding and Stir of Echoes remains one of the better horror flicks of the nineties even though only six people besides me saw it. His work with Spielberg though has been spotty at absolute best. They’ve collaborated on three scripts thus far: the first two Jurassic Park films and War of the Worlds. All of these flicks are long on spectacle and short on story. They also make heavy use of the “Kid Angle”, a tired old Spielberg standby and I’d lay two to one odds that it’s going to make an appearance in the next Indy.

I’ll pick this up again tomorrow with a look at why the casting of Shia LeBeouf may spell doom for Indy’s parenting skills and what we else we can expect from this potential disaster.


Links:

Here’s CHUD’s interview with Darabont regarding his involvement.

And here’s the final word on why Connery’s not coming back.

And man does this suck…


Later y'all.