Organic Dementia #2: Foodstuffs

Everything comes with traps and switching over to organic food has been chock full of them. In my case pulling this off was going to mean more then few changes in philosophy and most them have to with when and what I eat. Keep in mind that this little project has nothing to do with losing weight. I’m in decent shape. Not outstanding but my weight is right where it should be and I don’t worry about it much. Should I be able to keep this up, I doubt it will ever be any real concern again.

I had written this big long explanation of just how bad my food habits have been over the years but I decided nobody needs to know that. You’ll gain weight just thinking about it. The bottom line is that I tended to eat very little throughout the day then gorge at dinner, which was usually either take out or something quick and void of any nutrition. A few years ago at a family dinner I sat down with a pile of something green on my plate and my cousin’s wife made a crack about seeing me eat something that might have once contained a vitamin or two. That one statement pretty much sums it all up.

The trap lay in my job. My hours are a little different from most everyone else’s. They’re server hours so when the bulk of society is heading home from work, I’m on my way there. When you cats are snuggled up in bed watching Conan, I’m driving back to my apartment starving because we don’t get lunch breaks. Five days a week I go at least six hours without the possibility of stopping to eat so much as a peanut. The fact that I never used to eat much before work only made it worse.

I had convinced myself that there was no way I would have time to cook when I don’t get home until after nine or ten. I also labored under the delusion that it would be retarded expensive to cook enough food so that I wouldn’t go to bed hungry. That part at least was true because after work, when you’ve barely eaten a thing and its ten o’clock at night, you pull up to the drive thru thinking, “Okay gimme two of everything!”

The solution of course was to eat more during the day and have enough items available so that I could throw something together at home for dinner in less then fifteen minutes. I also had to do it without spending too much money because, contrary to popular belief, I am not independently wealthy. Oh yeah and I gotta keep it organic. Possible? How the hell would I have known? I’d never tried.

First off, here’s what’s available in my area. There are several grocery stores nearby but the best two are Kroger’s and Publix. The produce sections are large and well kept up. Kroger’s is twenty four hours and has a small organic living section. I figured I would start there and work my way up to Publix. I could also go to Kroger’s a little later in the evening when there wouldn’t be much of a crowd and I could take my time.

At the time my kitchen was stocked just enough so that I could put off buying the basics such as milk, butter, olive oil, vegetable oil, flour, spices, etc. Granted none of these were organic but like I said, I’m not throwing out and replacing. I can’t afford that and besides it’s wasteful. I’ll work my way through what I’ve got then replace it with organic items.

One key to this is to buy things that you know you’re going to use. The rub with fresh foods is that they come with short life-spans. You have to keep up with what’s in your fridge and try not to throw anything out. This may seem basic to some and I’ve always known it, I just never paid much attention to it. Occasionally I’d get a bug up my ass and buy what I needed to cook something healthy but I wouldn’t use everything I bought. It would just sit in my fridge and grow fun new life forms that I could assign names like “Buckley the Wonder Spore” or “Agnes”.

Pasta’s my friend and I eat a ton of it. It keeps well, it reheats quick and if I make a ton of it on Monday, I won’t finish it all off until Wednesday. Knowing that, I went to Kroger’s ready to hang out in the organic section for a while until I had the supplies to fix quick tomato sauces from scratch for the next couple days. I also needed to make certain that I came away with things like dried fruit, real granola (not that Quaker Oats crap with chocolate chips and more sugar then a state fair) and yogurt to get me through the day.

What happened? That would be telling. You’ll just have to come back tomorrow! ‘Til then.


Addendum:

The update schedule’s been thrown off a little bit so until I get things back on track, I won’t be putting these up until after I get off work.


“And I know what the silence on the wire is, in the waking hours of a nameless day. And I know you can’t do your lovin’ from phone booth on the highway, nine hundred miles or so away.” - Jackopierce

Organic Dementia #1

It’s late and I’ve just pulled my first batch of scones from the oven so I can have them for breakfast in the morning. I’ve never made any real attempts at baking and it’s with no small amount of relief that I tell you they turned out beautifully. I love breakfast. It’s easily one of those meals where (as long as I eat it) I’m liable to over eat. I’ve been able to keep myself from over doing it by figuring out small stuff that I like. Scones have always been at the top of my list. What’s unique about these particular scones is that they’re organic. The mix is made from all natural ingredients by a small company in Vermont. The eggs, butter and salt I added were also organic. And, oh yeah, did I mention that I FREAKING MADE THEM?!?!? And they’re AWESOME!!

This is the change I made that I’ve mentioned a couple times in the past few days. I haven’t eaten red meat in over a week. I’ve cooked every meal I've eaten (at least the ones that required cooking) and I’m trying to use organic products as much as possible. I’m switching out the products I use around the house with environmentally safe items. In short, I’m going green.

There are a lot of reasons behind this. In truth it’s something I’ve felt like I needed to do for several years now. Ask me why I’ve had that feeling and I won’t be able to give you a good, concrete answer. It’s just been there. Ask me why it’s taken me so long to do it…well, I can give you several excuses but that’s all they would be. I’ll have to start by telling you what my habits have been like for the last several years as well as give you a little more of my own background.

This all kind of starts with my family and the way I was brought up. The people in my family (every one of them) are the kind of folks that thrive by being active in the world around them. They’re important to their community and they’re not content to sit at the back of the bus. At last count we’ve got three doctors, five teachers, two nurses, one judge, one social worker and one youth minister/priest in training. We just added an architect via my spankin’ new brother-in-law.

And then there’s me. The server, the writer. Before anybody gets the wrong idea this is in NO WAY an inferiority thing. I’m very much secure in what I do and my family has always stood behind me. For the moment I’m biding my time working on my own projects until I finish my degree and eventually start teaching. This is the hand life dealt me and I’m playing it as best I know how.

That does not mean, however, that I’m beyond changing things that I believe would be good things to change. The environment is something I’ve always felt very strongly about, particularly now. Everyday I read the news and things just seem to keep getting worse. I’ve always told myself that I should be doing more but I’ve never done it, mainly because I just couldn’t figure out where to start. Again, it’s turned me in to just another asshole with an opinion and no action to back it up. Then I made it worse by starting a blog…you know the rest.

This isn’t me telling you how to live your life. This is me saying that I’ve been living as one more schmuck in the crowd pretending everything’s fine and that the products I use and the things I eat can’t possibly make a difference in the long run. I don’t believe that. I’ve never believed that. It was just another excuse and I’m tired of making excuses. Maybe I will be long since dead when the polar ice caps have melted away and what's left of North America feels like a sauna. That doesn’t mean I need to make it worse. If I’ve learned anything from my family, it’s that seemingly little things can make all the difference in the world.

So, cliché though it may sound, I’ve started with me and with my home. I’ve started with small changes. I didn’t run through my apartment, throwing out everything I own and buying all new, organic and environmentally sound products. I may be completely nuts but I’m not stupid nor am I financially sound enough to totally restock my place in one fell swoop.

I’m writing about this because I’ve been living pretty much exactly like quite a bit of America lives. My eyes closed, my ears open only occasionally and my mouth making promises my lifestyle couldn’t keep. A month from now that won’t be the case. Believe me, if I can pull this off (and I am pulling it off) then anybody can do it.

The trick for me is that I’m pretty much on my own with this. I’m having to do a bit of research and I’m shopping in very different places. I spent over an hour at the grocery the other day and only walked out with one bag, having spent less then thirty dollars. By writing about what I’m doing then hopefully I can help someone else make the same changes. I’ll do the legwork, tell you what I’ve found out and then maybe you can do some of the same things. So far I can tell you that it’s much easier then you might think.

Tomorrow we’ll start with food because it was the best place for me to start. As always, questions, comments and advice aren’t just welcome, they’re appreciated. I’m having a good time with it and in the long run, maybe it’ll make a little bit of a difference. Take care.


"And I've been playing my guitar just playing. And I'm running out of good things to say. I saw what there was to see and they give me a Bachelor's degree. And I think it's time now that I was away" - Jeffrey Foucault

Spork in the Road

So June’s about over and while I didn’t quite get to eighteen posts in twenty some odd days, I should be right around fifteen or so by the end of the month. I’ll take it. Thanks to everyone who’s continued to come by. I’m doing my best to come up with new material and I’m about to take things in a little different direction.

One thing that has bothered me a bit about doing this is my tendency to fall back on reviews or news about the entertainment industry. It’s no secret that I’m a former film student so I do have some knowledge in that area. However, a very small part of my leaving film school had to do with the world’s explosive obsessions with said industry. I agree it can be fascinating and it is a necessary thing but the end to which it is taken by some (Does Paris Hilton actually have a purpose…seriously?) bugs the crap out of me. If I write incessantly about it then I’m just another jerk with a laptop, a web address and an opinion.

I don’t want that. But I am a writer so in the end my next choice is go in a little more personal direction with this. It’s somewhat fortuitous that I’m working on changing a few things right now and I’ll write about those in the coming days.

It is also growing more likely that I’ll start publishing some works of fiction here. This won’t happen any time soon (by soon, I mean it won’t be days…weeks maybe but not days). It’s one of those things I’m going to have to be completely comfortable with so I won’t head into it lightly. Anyway I’m still chewing on it.

The bottom line I suppose is that from here on out Fading Daylights will have more to do with who I am and what I’m doing then what I think. The web doesn’t need any more opinions and I believe there are better ways for me to use this. I hate feeling like I’m not doing my part, even if it’s just a tiny little blog with four of five readers, most of whom are related to me.

So that’s that. I’ll be back tomorrow with a minor little tale that’s liable to throw some in my family through a bit of a loop. As I said a few days ago, fish out of water stuff can be fun especially if the fish is voluntarily jumping out of the bowl. Take care.

Addendum:

Don't you just love the word "spork"?

Why "Indy 4" Scares the Bejeezus Out of Me: Part Three

No foreplay today, too much to do. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. You know where I stand on the series and a few of my early problems, so here’s the bottom line. Spielberg’s casting of Shia LeBeouf was the potential final nail in Indy 4’s coffin for me. He’s been given an as yet unnamed role in the film. It’s been confirmed but the PTB are refusing to say exactly who he’s playing. Why all the coy games? Because we’ve seen enough of Spielberg’s work to know exactly who LeBeouf's playing and good ol’ Stevie figures he’ll dick around with us long enough so that we’ll forgive and forget when we find out the truth. It has to be Indy’s kid. That’s the only plausible explanation. And guess what? I’ll give you no worse then two to that they won’t like each other.

To be honest, I’ve beaten this horse, not just to death, but to a blood and guts Eli Roth sort of pulp. This angle of strained father/son relationships goes all the way back to E.T. and hasn’t stopped. Not only hasn’t it stopped, it’s cropped up just about everywhere. Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Hook, War of the Worlds, Last Crusade, A.I., Catch Me If You Can, these account for half the feature length films that he’s released since 1989. Frankly what bothers me isn’t the fact that it’s been a recurring theme, it’s that it only seems to crop up in his worst films. In the past twenty years, the best stuff he’s done (with the exception of Minority Report) hasn’t gone anywhere near the f*&^ed up family angle. It only seems to be an issue when he can’t come up with anything better and it shows.

Bottom line, if Indy’s kid is in this film I’m pretty sure it’s gonna suck because it’s a sure-fire sign that they ran out of ideas, which is never good. Another thing that could get old real quick is if they beat Ford’s age to death. Okay, we get it, he’s in his sixties and everybody’s questioning whether or not he can handle it. If you wanna address it, fine, but don’t go overboard. I’d like to think they’re smarter then that but the self-referential nature of Last Crusade tells me otherwise.

Now does the film have anything going for it? Absolutely. Cate Blanchett is one of the absolute best actresses around and she’s in this movie. That alone counts for a lot. Jim Broadbent is excellent as well. I haven’t seen Shia LeBeouf in anything but I’ve read that he’s very, very good. The potential is there. This role fits Ford like a glove and if he didn’t love playing Indy, he would never have gone back to it. It will be nice to see him playing a part with the same sort of vigor that we used to see all the time. He’s been so obviously sleepwalking through most of his films lately that it’s been tough to take so here’s hoping.

I wanna be excited about this. I want this film to work. I want to walk into that theater next summer and get chills when the Paramount logo comes on screen. I wanna wet myself like a four year old over Williams’ music and the inevitable sneaky reveal of Harrison Ford wearing that hat again. History’s making me leary though. In the end, all we can do is wait and cross our fingers. Make no mistake though, I’ll be there on opening night with every other nerd in the free world whispering the words "Please don't suck" quietly to myself.

Links:

Because we were so patient, here’s Mr. Ford in costume for the first time in almost twenty years. I’m assuming his walker is just off camera. (Take THAT Mom!!)


Later.

Why "Indy 4" Scares the Bejeezus Out of Me: Part Two

Okay, continuing on with last week’s…was that last week? Nope, it’s been longer then that. See, this whole project is about building better habits. It’s working…albeit slowly but it is working. I have another idea in the pipeline that should be starting up in the next couple days. Another bit of habit building that I’m looking forward to writing about because if somebody were making a movie about it, it’d be one of those silly fish out of water flicks. But I need to finish this up first, so off we go.

There’s been a fairly steady stream of news regarding Indy 4 over the past couple of weeks, which is not at all surprising because principal photography should be up and running by now. Another big name was added to the cast in the form of Jim Broadbent. He joins Cate Blanchett and Shia LeBeouf along with (of course) Ford.

To get a real idea of why this project bugs me so much, you have to go back through the original series. Raiders is the pinnacle. It’s exciting, funny and intelligent. This was Spielberg at his absolute best. I think the most common ranking I see after Raiders puts Last Crusade second and Temple of Doom a distant third. There was a time when I might have agreed but over the years, I don’t think that argument holds up. My personal ranking pits ToD a very close second to Raiders with Last Crusade falling way behind them both.

In a lot of ways, Temple of Doom is the extreme edition of Raiders even though it started as the dumping ground for sequences that didn’t make the first film. Spielberg has often told that the mine cart chase and the cliff jump via life raft were intended for Raiders but that film didn’t have room for them. ToD is a darker, more violent, more challenging film then Last Crusade. It’s a movie that hangs its balls out there and dares people to cut them off. In short, it’s more admirable then Last Crusade because it took more chances. I’m not alone in this thinking either. Roger Ebert gave the first two films four stars each where the last one "only" got three and a half.

Last Cruasde saw the gang begin to fall into retread territory. The in-jokes were funny the first few times but on repeat viewings they become trite and a little silly. It also saw Spielberg delving into subject matter that he has continued to re-use over the years to the point that his films have begun to run together. Yes, the idea of Indiana Jones encountering his father is fascinating. Absolutely that relationship would have to have been strained in order for the film to work. The problem is that Spielberg’s been back to this strained family unit territory SO MANY TIMES that seeing it in Last Crusade is a little painful on occasion.

But it does work. I would never say that this is a bad film but it shows that the formula itself is starting to show some age. It falls back on humor too often and doesn’t flow as organically Raiders & ToD. Most of the funny parts feel scripted and overworked. The emotions (for the most part) suffer the same fate, especially the climactic scene between Ford and Connery where Hank, Sr. finally calls Hank, Jr. “Indiana”. Even I saw that one coming and I was ten the first time I saw this.

Finish the series here and you escape intact. Three films is a good place to stop and Last Crusade provides as a good a coda as possible. They wrapped up a few loose ends, everybody rides off into the sunset, the hat’s in the Smithsonian, everybody’s happy. Then came Rosie.

Don’t worry, I’m not blaming Rosie O’Donnell for this but it was on her talk show that Harrison Ford made his announcement that another Indiana Jones film would indeed happen. That was ten plus years ago. Now we’re a year away from seeing how this turns out.

I have a bit more to discuss but this will have to do for today. I’ll finish this up sometime in the coming days by taking a look at the details of the production and why the might spell trouble. I emphasize the word “might”, by the way. Keep in mind I was one of those guys who was still optimistic going into Episode III.

Links:

Ebert’s Review of “Raiders”…

…and “Temple of Doom”…

…and “Last Crusade”.

Here’s the original news of Broadbent’s casting (which has since been confirmed).


And I'm out. Take care!

Generalities

So I usually do this in the morning but the last few days have taken on an air of trying new things so I thought I'd post after work for once. I don't see it becoming a habit. It's been a very solid little day with nothing at all interesting to report but I really needed one of those so I can't complain.

Just to clarify yesterday's Top Five, I should have point out that I was referring to modern era films. Keep in mind that before 1970 there wouldn't have been much need to make a distinction between love and sex on film. Sure there were great love scenes in those days but they had little to do with sex. These days sex is exploited enough in Hollywood and honest, needed sex scenes are a little hard to come by. Then again, there doesn't have to be sex for it to be sexy. Got it?

Anyways, here's another trend that's pissing me off something awful. I admit that I don't much care about a new Smashing Pumpkins album and I've got no plans to pick it up. On the other hand this isn't the first time that I've seen bands pull crap like this, offering different versions of the album at different stores. It works like this. They release one version of their album proper to the bulk of retail outlets. Then they add one bonus track for the verison that gets sold at, for example, Target. In the case of the Pumpkins, their doing this at FOUR different stores so there are four different versions of the record. It's bullshit. Really devoted fans (and trust me, Smashing Pumpkins has an army's worth) will have to buy the record four times in order to get each of the extra tracks.

Why allow this? Billy Corgan's got enough pull, even now, that he should know better. Counting Crows pulled the same thing last summer with the release of their last live album. There were at least four different variations of it available from Best Buy, iTunes, Amazon and then everywhere else. They aren't blatantly different mind you, they just have one extra song but give me a break.

Okay, I'm done ranting. I'm also done posting because I have one last thing to do before I go to bed and I'm all ready sleepy. Good night all.

Top 5: Love Scenes

Ask me why I'm writing about this kind of thing now and I'll probably tell you to piss off. I'm not in this kind of mood but sometimes you just gotta find the bright spots! Yeah, okay I'm stalling with the Top Fives but doing this several days out of the week sometimes means it'll just have to be quick. Now, before I start, take note of how I said LOVE SCENES...not "sex"..."love". This has nothing to do with nudity, Skinemax, tit shots or getting off. Understand? Okay then, off we go (again, in no particular order).

5. Out of Sight - Go ahead with the J. Lo cracks. Any other part of her career and I'll happily join in with you but not this one. First off this might be the sexiest movie ever. The lighting, the cutting, the blocking, Clooney, Lopez, all of it is just...well, hot. Their scene in the hotel is phenomenol.

4. Shakespeare In Love - This flick's pretty damn sexy too but the love scene that's interwoven with the rehearsals is just brilliant.

3. Titanic - Yeah...WHAT?? You know, I get the cute indie flick benefit of the doubt by loving item number five. I think the drawing sequence is just smokin', all right?

2. The Remains of the Day - Remember how I said "love not sex"? I'm not kidding about this one. In fact, this is your homework. Find the scene I mean. Hint? "Would I be shocked?" That's all you get. It's the closest thing this movie has to a love scene. It's fascinating and ultimately just crushing.

1. Pump Up The Volume - Check out the scene on Christian Slater's back porch when Samantha Mathis finds out that he's the DJ. Great, great stuff.


No links for today mainly because I've been busy doing stuff around the house all day. I'll post up something longer in the next little bit, I swear. Take care.

Top 5: Songs By R.E.M. You Probably Forgot About

And then I go five days without posting...oops. Believe me when I say the last couple days have been a little surreal. That's all I can say about it for now. To my deified Nepali reader, I haven't heard the "Hitchhiker's Guide" radio shows but you've given me an idea for my next road trip! And to whoever's cheerios I've been pissing in by not posting...my deepest apologies. Now, let's to business. These "Top 5"'s are in no particular order whatsoever. R.E.M.'s done so much great work over the years that sometimes the little songs get lost in the shuffle. Go get these off iTunes because stealing is bad!

5. "Monty Got A Raw Deal" - Automatic For The People - To those of you that don't think Peter Buck is an amazing guitarist...blow me. I might have broken a finger trying to play this. One of my favorites.

4. "Leave" - New Adventures In Hi-Fi - Probably the most disturbing, raw track they've ever done. Forget the low-rent, stripped down version from "A Life Less Ordinary" and get it straight from the source. It's incredible.

3. "I Took Your Name" - Monster - They opened with this when I saw them in Lexington a few millenia ago. A great lyric and hook to match.

2. "Camera" - Reckoning - Everybody remembers "Pretty Persuasion" from this record but this one's heartbreaking.

1. "Exhuming McCarthy" - Document - A fun little "f#%k you" to Reagan era politics. It was right about here that Stipe stopped mumbling and everybody realized just how pissed he was.


Links:


R.E.M.'s official

Maybe this will pull the bug out of his ass...

Here's an interesting article about the guy who directed the brilliant American History X. You know you're crazy when Brando tries to help.


That's it for today. Ta.

Seven New Things #1

Whew...I almost went two straight days without posting anything. Can't have that now can we? I'll get back to Indy 4 this weekend. The way I see it, you never stop learning new things. Here's what I've learned the past couple days.

1. Buying glasses is a racket. Ignore the price listed on the frames 'cause it's gonna cost you about twice that.

2. Never let your barber go too far. You could wind up bald.

3. Traffic in Nashville sucks.

4. Life takes funny twists and they usually happen when you least expect them.

5. Watching everybody on the PGA Tour get their ass whipped is more fun then you might think.

6. Traffic in Nashville really sucks.

7. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" made a better movie then I originially thought.


Have a good weekend!

Why "Indy 4" Scares the Bejeezus Out of Me: Part One

After what seems like an age or two of rumors, speculation and griping from all angles, the fourth Indiana Jones film is finally set to begin filming this summer. Ten years ago this news would have set Hollywood ablaze but these days it’s approached with an unspoken caution by most, particularly those amongst the online media. As for me, this “caution” isn’t unspoken by any means. I’m terrified of the possibilities this new film presents, for dozens of reasons and none them have to do with Harrison Ford’s recent ascension to ranks deserving of an AARP discount.

Indy 4's troubles started years ago with an agreement by the three principal players in the game (these being Ford, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg) that they would not proceed with a new film unless all three of them agreed on the script. A sweet sentiment to be certain but read between the lines. Ford’s script reading skills have never been anything to write home about. In recent years he’s passed on roles in two Oscar winning films (Traffic & Syriana) because he didn’t like the scripts. Instead he’s taken parts in genius flicks like K-19 and Firewall.

Then there’s Lucas and do I really need to continue? Dialogue whiz that he is, dear ol’ George enlisted the guy that wrote The Scorpion King as his love story coach for Episode II and we all know how well that turned out:

“You love me? I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.

"I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know.”

Christ. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ve seen more passion in Hallmark cards. Did Lawrence Kasdan retire and forget to tell us?

The only one with a semi-level head about him in this twisted little game is Spielberg and I hesitate to call him that. Anybody willing to take that turd of a script for War of the Worlds in to production needs to have his head examined but that’s beside the point. Spielberg’s leanings at the story level could spoil Indy 4 level for other reasons that I’ll get into later. At least Spielberg had the idea to hire Frank Darabont.

No one could reasonably call Darabont anything less then a top notch screenwriter. He’s had few (if any) real misfires that were his fault. He’s familiar with the Indiana Jones universe thanks to his stint as a writer on the Young Indiana Jones TV show. After meeting with several writers over the years, the Ego Trio sent Darabont on his way to complete a script for Indy 4. Several months later he handed it in and both Speilberg & Ford praised it publicly saying they felt they were on the right track. Spielberg even went so far as to call it the best Indy script since Raiders.

It was Lucas who put the kibosh on the Darabont script. He was quiet as to his reasoning. Apparently the whole thing was not handled very well. In the links section below you’ll see a link to an interview with Darabont where he discusses what went down. They didn’t ask him for rewrites. They didn’t tell him what was wrong. They just said “Thanks but no thanks” and that was it. If the script was terrible that’s one thing but when you’ve got a writer like Darabont in your corner, why not use him?

The end to this saga came with David Koepp, a long time crony of Spielberg’s. He’s a talented writer, don’t get me wrong. Spiderman was outstanding and Stir of Echoes remains one of the better horror flicks of the nineties even though only six people besides me saw it. His work with Spielberg though has been spotty at absolute best. They’ve collaborated on three scripts thus far: the first two Jurassic Park films and War of the Worlds. All of these flicks are long on spectacle and short on story. They also make heavy use of the “Kid Angle”, a tired old Spielberg standby and I’d lay two to one odds that it’s going to make an appearance in the next Indy.

I’ll pick this up again tomorrow with a look at why the casting of Shia LeBeouf may spell doom for Indy’s parenting skills and what we else we can expect from this potential disaster.


Links:

Here’s CHUD’s interview with Darabont regarding his involvement.

And here’s the final word on why Connery’s not coming back.

And man does this suck…


Later y'all.

Movie Review - "The Producers" - 2005 Version

I’m not really on a musical kick. Things just kind of worked out this way. Like I said, I’m working my way through a two year backlog of films so be patient. Besides you might run across these flicks in Blockbuster and not know anything about them so for all you know, I could be helping out.

I don’t think anyone would argue with the statement that, of the musicals to see theatrical release in the past ten years, Rob Marshall’s take on Chicago is easily the best. There’s a stigma that goes along with making such films. Musicals are boring, clichéd, too long, unrealistic, etc. Chicago worked because it ignored all of those excuses, dove in head first and came out aces mainly because of its attitude. The Producers isn’t a bad film, it’s just too careful.

Fans of the musical breathed a big, big sigh when Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick signed on to reprise the lead roles they created for the stage. Some people probably breathed another hefty sign when Susan Strohman, the director and choreographer of the original production, agreed to direct the film. These may have been sighs of relief at first but in the end, the film has so much trouble letting go of the musical that it comes out as a fascinating exercise in mediocrity.

The problem seems to start with Strohman and work its way down. Some of the bigger, flashier numbers succeed tremendously which is no surprise. The art of spectacle is not lost on a stage director of Strohman’s caliber. I liked the scene in Leo’s accounting firm as well as Bialystock’s mass seduction sequence. Lane and Broderick sell these scenes particularly well because this is the only time they don’t seem bored with the material.

Lane still seems a bit enchanted with playing Max Bialystock. He’s as witty as ever and does what he can even though he doesn’t have anything new to work with. Broderick on the other hand looks like he’s been on Broadway too long. He spends the entire film with his eyes fit to pop out of their sockets, a necessary touch when playing to back row in theater, but on film it’s corny and over the top. When he’s not singing he acts like he’s simply killing time between numbers as though he’s still trying to convince the average filmgoer that he’s not Ferris Bueller.

A lot of this goes back to Strohman who makes her feature film debut with The Producers. She holds so tight to the ideals of the stage that she only brings the film down. Many of the gags are still in place here which is fine occasionally because they are funny but the timing feels off. Again, these are STAGE GAGS which means they don’t necessarily translate to the silver screen. They feel telegraphed and easy with all the subtleties of a midget with an M-16.

These are minor issues; not big, screaming complaints. Most days I’d rather have real gripes with a film because then I can just say “It stinks, don’t bother”. I can’t say that here. Even Will Ferrell and Uma Thurman, both a little miscast, don’t fall flat on their faces. Thurman certainly looks the part and pulls it off with relative success as long as she’s not singing. Ferrell has the same trouble but we’ve all ready seen him doing this part so many times (on SNL and every other film he’s ever done) that it doesn’t feel like he’s creating a role. He seems like he’s just doing shtick while somebody off camera dangles a paycheck in front of him.

These are all talented folks but unfortunately the lot of them popping up in a film together just doesn’t blow my skirt up the way it could have. It’s passable, even amusing at times, but in the end it falls squarely into that loathsome little category of movies about which I can only say, “Eh…”.

Links:

A little about the film....

...and about the musical.


And now I go wait tables! Bye!

"Year Zero" - Nine Inch Nails - Album Review

**** out of *****

Sometime in the fall of 2006 an Interscope Records exec got a phone call from Trent Reznor (the brains behind Nine Inch Nails) that probably went something like this:

“I’m working on a new record.”
“Okay Trent, talk to you in five years. Take care!”

Like so many of the more impressive musicians in the past twenty years or so, Nine Inch Nails is notorious for long gestation periods between records. Beginning with The Downward Spiral in 1994, Reznor has averaged almost six years per album. His last piece, With Teeth, came out in 2005 so it was reasonable for fans to expect his next one sometime after the end of this decade. Year Zero took a little over a year to make and its proof positive that time doesn’t always equal perfection.

This is easily Reznor’s best work since The Downward Spiral and ironically it’s his least personal. The record is a concept piece that tells the story of a fallen United States, sometime after 2020. It’s clear that, like so many others, he’s nervous about the course the country has taken over the last several years. He unleashes all of his frustrations throughout the course of Year Zero, taking on everything from global warming to chronic apathy with unrelenting vigor and passion.

The themes are similar to his previous work but the difference here lies in the point of view. Reznor has always fueled his lyrics with angst driven by fear. In the world according to Trent, everything doesn’t just suck, its balls out terrifying. But here he takes on different personas, those of people both caught up in a war they don’t understand but needing desperately to believe in something.

“The Good Soldier” tells of a member of an unnamed army, remembering what his life was like and what he now wants it to be. The chorus is simple with Reznor in his haunting trademark whisper forcing out the words “I am trying to believe” over and over again. “Capital G” is the probably the best indictment of the Bush Administration yet. It describes in detail the leader who has taken over Reznor’s distraught new world from the view of an ordinary citizen. With lines like “Trading in my god for this one/And he signs his name with a capital G”, it’s sarcastic, brutal and ingeniously layered with a Gestapo chant hiding just underneath the wailing riffs and bass lines.

The music isn’t necessarily groundbreaking, especially for a Nine Inch Nails album, however it moves with the same brash confidence found on Pretty Hate Machine and Downward Spiral. The beats are strong, the guitars are loud and the industrial edge is crunching and abrasive. Reznor again seems as though the melodies are coming to him rather then the other way around. He piles layer upon layer of sonic destruction underneath his vocals, which are as gut-wrenching as they’ve ever been, capping it all of with “Zero Sum”, another heartbreaking coda in the vein of “Hurt”. It’s not quite that impressive but it’s so close it makes the skin crawl.

The marketing scheme surrounding this record has become the stuff of legend. The packaging is magnificent. There’s an online game that further expands the universe created by the album. Supposedly there’s a movie in the works and Reznor swears he’s got ideas for at least one, maybe two, sequel records. As fascinating as it all seems, it would be meaningless if this album didn’t work. Fortunately it doesn’t just work, it soars, proving that Nine Inch Nails can still crank out important industrial rock better then anybody and he doesn’t need a short millennium to do it.

Keepers: “The Good Soldier”, “Capital G”, “The Great Destroyer”, “Zero Sum”


Links:

The Album's Offiicial Site

The Beginning of the Year Zero Webgame (Hint: Click and drag your mouse across the page like you're dragging and dropping a file. You'll see!)

And speaking of chronic apathy...SOMEONE MAKE HER GO AWAY!!!!!


That's it for today. See you tomorrow!

Crawfish Stuffed Megatron

Okay, true story. Know what a mirliton is? It’s all right, I didn’t either. Here’s how I found out.

One day last week I get to work and settle in for our pre-shift meeting during which the staff gripes and the chef rolls out the nightly features. We get through our bitch fest, taste a new wine and then Carl, the sous-chef, takes over.

“Tonight for the App DJ we’ve got a crawfish and shrimp stuffed mirliton”, he says, “Anybody know what a mirliton is?”

Not a peep from the servers just a healthy dose of blank stares.

“It’s also called a ‘chayote’, present it however you like. It’s a green fruit that used be the principal fruit of the Aztecs…”

For whatever reason, I tuned out right about here. Keep in mind this was my second day back from a vacation that included two very important weddings so it can hardly be called a vacation. I was still a little fried and besides I couldn’t exactly see the principal fruit of the Aztecs selling like gangbusters in small town Tennessee.

Just for the record a MIR-LI-TON is indeed a small green fruit that looks a bit like a bell pepper with a texture similar to butternut squash. The flesh is a little bland and Carl decided to serve it stuffed with a mixture of crawfish, shrimp, parmesan and breadcrumbs. They topped it with a sweet chili hollandaise (I think) and it was excellent.

So I’m on auto-pilot, writing the cliffs notes of Carl’s explanation. Lost in translation is the spelling of word “MIR-LI-TON” which I write down as “MIL-IR-TRON”. He tells us about the other two specials, chastises us for hanging out at the host stand and sends us on our merry way. Forty five minutes later my first table sits down. I put on my game face and give my notes a quick look before greeting them.

“MIL-IR-TRON”, I think as I read, “that doesn’t sound right. Wasn’t it ‘MIR-LI-TRON’? No, that doesn’t sound right either. Huh.”

I looked around to see if any of my co-workers were in sight but couldn’t find anybody. I was alone. Nobody but me and my burning desire to sell this mysterious MIL-IR-TRON.

“Screw it”, I thought, I’ll call it a MIL-IR-TRON and I’ll make it sound good. No problem. It’s not like anybody but Carl knows what the hell this thing is anyways. It’ll sell. No sweat”.

I get into character and approach my customers, dead certain that they’re complete imbeciles who wouldn’t know a MIL-IR-TRON from a schnauzer. They’re mine and I hit them with my usual spiel.

“Hi folks, welcome to The Red Pony. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Would you care to start off with a cocktail or a glass of wine tonight?”

They order drinks and once I deliver them, I continue knowing I’m gonna sell the hell out of that MIL-IR-TRON, Aztecs be damned. These poor bastards won’t know what hit them. They’ll have MIL-IR-TRON running out their noses before they can even think about their salads.

“Okay, I’ve got a few specials to tell you about. Our appetizer is a little different but it’s absolutely delicious. We’re serving a crawfish and baby shrimp stuffed Megatron tonight”.

Snickers.

Very light, quiet snickers from the peanut gallery before me. The kind that occur when people think they might have heard something but they’re not quite sure. Clueless, I continue…and give them firm confirmation of what they heard.

“If you’re not familiar with a Megatron, it’s a green fruit with a texture similar to…”

Now they’re certain of what I said and they’re laughing fit to burst at me. I’m turning beet red but I run with it and grin.

“Okay, what’d I do?” I ask, horrified.

“You know you said ‘megatron’, right?” says the guy sitting to my left.

Ooops.

“Uh, oh. I did? Really? No, I didn’t. Did I?”

Everybody’s nodding, laughing hysterically and I’m getting the sinking feeling they’re telling the truth. How could they make that up? I have no idea where to go now but I’m starting to laugh with them. Then one of them speaks up.

“You didn’t mean ‘MIR-LI-TON’ did you?” says another one of the guys at the table, trying to calm down. Now I take out my notes and cheat. Ding!

“That’s exactly what I meant”, I say, relived that I now have the correct pronunciation but still feeling like an absolute jackass.

“What’s that?” says yet another of them.

The guy who originally asked defers back to me, probably out of sympathy. Fortunately I know for a fact that I have their complete attention now. I can’t help myself.

“An evil robot from cybertron that turns into a gun?” I say, shrugging.

The howling has ended but they’re still laughing. Lucky for me I pulled this boneheaded move in front of people my own age. Someone my parent’s age would likely have had me committed or fired or both.

A moment or two later, we’ve all settled down. The gentleman who knew the word proceeds to tell his friends that MIR-LI-TONS are a disgusting little fruit that his mother used to feed him when he was a kid. Since it’s clear at this point that they aren’t going to order one, I decide not to tell him about the Aztecs.

No harm, no foul. Alas, I sold no MIR-LI-TONS (or Megatrons for that matter) that night. They left me a nice tip, likely based in its entirety on the story they can tell their friends about the geek-infested server who offered them a tasty stuffed Megatron. I guess the moral is never, ever wonder what’s going through your server’s brain because, odds are, you really don’t wanna know.


More info on the MIR-LI-TON (also known as the chayote).

And just for good measure…!

Movie Review: "Rent"

It’s not often that a movie is able to fill me to the brim with firey, evil, destructive thoughts. Lately I’ve taken to the habit of practicing chord changes on the guitar while I watch flicks. As I took in the screen adaptation of Rent I kept having visions of throwing my guitar, fret-board first, through the TV, sparks flying and me laughing with villainous ire. In case you haven’t noticed all ready, it pissed me off so much it made me borderline eloquent.

I could have brought heaps of baggage with me to this one. I’ve been a tremendous fan of the musical for several years but I was determined to come into the film with an open mind but still prepared to loathe it. Why was I still prepared to loathe it? Two words: Chris Columbus. The decision to have the director of…wait for it...Mrs. Doubtfire, Nine Months and let’s not forget the seminal Bicentennial Man take on one of the most important, edgy musicals from the past twenty five years is right up there with somebody thinking Jaws IV was a bang-up idea. If I was gonna hate this flick, it was gonna have to be Columbus’ fault, not that of my own attachments.

I hadn’t listened to the musical in its entirety in almost two years. Seriously. There was some baggage that went along with that decision but I thought surely it would allow me to see the film with an open mind. I really wanted to Columbus to prove me wrong. I was ready for some of my favorite sequences to be removed for the sake of the film. I was ready to accept new performers in parts I all ready loved. I armed myself with a couple loads of laundry and a cup of coffee and went to town.

Roger Ebert wrote an interesting review of the film version. He takes it to task mainly for the sins of the story. It’s pretty clear he wasn’t crazy about the musical itself, making it a little tough to like the film. He even rips on La Boheme which was the original source material for Rent. I get his reasoning. From a story stand point, it’s a lot cliché and a little silly. As he put it, “One character coughs in Act III so she can die in Act IV”. You can practically see him rolling his eyes.

In a way he’s right but that’s the film’s fault because it forgets that re-imagining La Boheme in to Rent only works in the first place because the characters are so memorable. I believe Rent works well as a musical and, in the hands of a better director, it might have worked as a film.

That’s said, it’s not all bad, so we’ll start off with the good stuff. Rosario Dawson was outstanding. She’s gorgeous and she takes Mimi to a new level here. Traci Thomas, the other new cast member, is just as good as Joanne. She brings a fresh interpretation of the part and it’s very much welcome. These performances work because they are new and they bring no stage baggage to the screen. The rest of the cast is merely passable in parts they played for ages for that very reason. These are stage performances and it’s so clear it’s painful. Even seasoned screen actors like Jesse Martin and Taye Diggs fall back in to big, bold theater habits that only make for clunky performances. It’s not their fault really. The director (1492 himself) should have reined them in and forced them to pick up new subtleties but no such luck.

Film has an intimacy that theatre, particularly musical theatre, can’t match. This intimacy should bring the audience closer to the all ready wonderful characters in Rent but again this seems lost on Columbus. Moments that should be seen in close up are far too often played out in long masters that suck the energy right out of them. So much of the movie feels like a filmed stage production that it’s maddening. In short, there’s nothing new here.

Take Mark for example. During the musical, we never get the impression that he’s a particularly good filmmaker and we don’t need to. The songs and storylines can handle the progression of his life just fine. In the film however this could have been an opportunity to make the character much more layered. His camera could have been another eye from which the audience could see the world as he sees it. This might have made his revelation near the end of the film all the more powerful.

On the other hand they could have just left it out entirely and taken the approach of the musical. Honestly that might have worked better then what they did, which is turn Mark in to the Bohemian equivalent of an over-excited parent with a video camera. The “film” he claims to be working on is little more then a home movie. He’s supposed to be shooting a documentary about the homeless, so Columbus mixes in a few shots of homeless people doing homeless people things. It’s trite and insulting.

Columbus tries so hard to keep fans of the musical happy that he ends up with movie/theatre soup. Sure they kept all the big numbers and cut some others. They changed up some locations and messed with the time line a little. These kinds of changes are necessary any time a story is moved from one medium to another but they should be the right changes. The one that should drive even the most tepid fans of the musical bats are the lines which are sung on stage but spoken on screen. Okay, so you’re not making an opera. You wanna ground the musical in a little reality. I get that but do people speak in rhyme? Would it have been so hard to change those lines up just a little?! A line like “I’m giving up my vices” works when sung by Mimi but by having her speak it, you pull the audience right out of the movie. If a friend of mine, crack addict or not, actually said that, I’d laugh at them.

I cannot recommend this film to anybody and particularly not to real fans of the musical. I won’t say that it’s completely without merit but it’s pretty damn close. This is a version of Rent stripped of everything that made it important. It is bland, desolate and worst of all safe. It is another example, like the first two Harry Potter films, of Chris Columbus being so eager to please a rabid fan base that he completely misses the point.

Links:

Here's Ebert's Review

Here's some good info on the musical from the Wikipedia Crack Pipe

This is the website for the Jonathan Larson Performing Arts Foundation


Okay, that's it for today. I'm off to run errands but before I go I wanna wish my mom a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! She turns OLD today!

See you tomorrow!

Re-Evalutation

So here we are again. Another, uh…year…and another shot at a blog. By my count there are twenty some odd days left in June and my goal is to post on eighteen of those days. Feel free to hold me to it and laugh at me when I can’t pull it off. Writers really are a lazy breed and I am no different from all the rest. We’re constantly looking for ways to make us do what most of us do as naturally as breathing. I’ve had some variation on the following conversation so many times in my life it makes my head spin.

“What are you getting into tonight?”
“I’m having my chest waxed. I’m hoping it’ll make me write more”.

Okay, so that’s the extreme version. I’ve never had my chest waxed. I have very little chest hair so it’s not much of an issue. Personally, I’ve taken creative writing class on top of creative writing class, I’ve gotten up early, I’ve stayed up late. I’ve left the house, I’ve stayed in. I’ve bought a laptop. I’ve tried classical music, blogging, writing letters, lighting candles, white noise, no noise, bad country music…you get the idea. Getting up early and sitting with a cup of coffee seems to work best for me. This experiment has more to do with curbing my instinct to write ridiculously long letters to folks who are likely to tell me to go away some time in the near future then with the need to write consistently. It’s also a good way to warm up before I get to work on other things.

Where this is going, I can’t really say but I’ll be writing about the things I see, be that sports, music, flicks, news, whatever. Keep in mind though that when I review records or movies, it’s liable to be a little behind. Money sometimes keeps me that way!

Album reviews have a section called “Keepers” at the bottom and these are specific songs that I think are worth picking up on iTunes (or downloading illegally from your PTP of choice). For now I’ll give those a rating on a One through Five scale. Movies don’t get stars because hopefully you’ll be able to tell from the review if I liked it or not. Feel free to sound off and let me know you came by!